The factions of Mount And Musket Napoleonic Wars!

by seanbeansshako

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THE BRITISH

Surly and drunk the British Army are the guys in Red, and when not picking on smaller nations without technology are led by men with more money than sense and a man who people oddly enough think invented a boot. Renowned for their impressively silly accents and musketry skills the British Army will stab the enemy to death in between tea breaks and complaining about the government without actually doing nothing about it. Because if they do, the skin is flayed off their backs with flogging huzzah!

ImageTHE FRENCH

Surly and horny the Imperial French are led by a man who seems to be controlled by a large hat and doesn’t actually have a French accent, busy just finishing stabbing their former best buds Spain in the back they currently have decided to invade one of the biggest countries in Europe because they can’t keep a pinky promise. Armed with wimpy beards but impressive mustaches as well as the prettiest Hussars on the continent the French are determined to spread their bizzare liberal-dictatorship over everyone like soft creamed cheese. Favorite color a fetching dark blue!

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THE PRUSSIANS

Surly and angry the Prussian Army contains all the cold emotional German militarism but without a good football team, fresh from being defeated and occupied by Napoleons crew they have spent the last few years defopping their Military with the help of British trade from the Royal Navy and the Russians. Led by the mad Swedish Field Marshal Blücher who thinks an elephant as impregnated him they plan to strike back at the French, like some sort of Empire. Favorite color, Navy blue and black!

ImageTHE RUSSIANS

Surly and in numbers the Imperial Russian army like the British guys is mostly comprised of convicts sentenced to wearing a uniform for several decades and poor bloody serfs who just like their Germanic-Polish cousins are out for revenge on the French for bitch slapping them hard at Austerlitz and for Napoleon not giving Tsar Alexander back after that hot night in the Winter Palace. Favorite color, a light pea green with hint of French blood. Led by a gritty one eyed old bastard called Kutuzov who doesn’t need any fancy hats.

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 THE AUSTRIANS

Bitter and surly, the Austrian ‘Empire’ has been humiliated again and again in the last hundred years. First by the Prussians, then later by the Revolutionary French and Napoleon who crushed the shit out of them at Austerlitz they are desperate and out for revenge. Armed with slightly out of date tactics and an Officer Corp who can’t speak any languages of their eastern European empire and a desire to beat the shit out of Napoleon and anyone who gets in their way not caring how many gaudily dressed soldiers it kills. Favorite color? gold gilt and bright blue.

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